Traffic rules as defined by Delhi!

This post has actually been forming in my head for quite some time now.... mostly through my own reactions to a crazy traffic situation!
so here are some traffic rules as defined by Delhi's drivers:

• So you thought the right lane was meant for fast -moving traffic? Think again. From cycles to lorries to dilapidated vehicles, they all hoard the lane as if their life depended on it! So if you're by any chance stuck in the right lane and see all cars whizzing past you in the left lane, you know what happened!
• While on the subject of lanes, lane driving is totally passé! Drive in the absolute center of two lanes because you never know when you might get some space in any direction to just squeeze in between other cars! And hey! by driving in the center, you also effectively block the way for cars behind you!
• Never use indicators... god help you!, if you do that, people will get to know what you're thinking/where you want to go. How can you let that happen?!!!
  You must make sudden turns, almost perpendicular at times. After all, you are the king of the road!
• You must participate in the horn symphony! Basically, use the horn liberally, specially in situations where it won't solve any purpose. For example, when there is a huge line of cars ahead of you, start honking! The cars will by magic, disappear. Also, as soon as a red light turns green honk like your life depended on it! It might make the traffic move faster!
• At a signal, as soon as you sense that the red light is going to turn green, start inching forward. This is actually a competition... first one to zoom forward wins!